Transcending the Bullshit
Have you ever been wronged? Of course you have, it’s part of the human experience. Since we’ve all been there, we all know what it feels like – the pain, the anger, the helplessness. It’s what we decide to do with it that defines our character. It’s what we decide to do with it that determines whether it will hurt us or ultimately help us grow.
Integrity can be a bitch. That north pointing moral compass is a tricky thing to manage. We must always discern just how far we are willing to go for what is right. My spirit animal is a bear. I have that relentless fighter in me – the one that has a very hard time turning a blind eye to injustice. This can be a curse or a blessing, depending on how it is used. I’ve always know that things might be easier if I just didn’t give a damn. But that’s just not who I am. I do give a damn. That probably will never change.
And so here I am – on the other side of a string of situations that rattled me to my core. I was faced with matters that tarnished my soul and I was slowly transforming into someone I didn’t want to be. Feeling like an alien in my own skin, I slowly started unraveling – I didn’t know how to come back. So I prayed….. for direction, for wisdom for a sign – any sign!
The sign came, the wisdom came. Like a fast moving roller coaster, I started putting one foot in front of the other. My bear came out, and I fought for what I knew to be right. On the surface, it may look like I lost. The career that defined so much of my life is over. The people and places that I loved, suddenly swept away. Income, gone. I’m in the middle of what feels like a bipolar emotional episode, yet there is one thing that is very clear; I did the right thing, so I won.
Through all these crazy emotions, I choose peace. I choose love. I choose light. Do I still feel anger and sadness? Absolutely. But it’s the vengeance and retaliation that I’m steering clear of because it is THESE things that take me from winning to loosing.
So I’m ready to scream from the top of a mountain; I WIN! My integrity is something no one can take away. And you know what? I am one blessed girl. I have friends filling me up with more support and love than I thought humanly possible. I have a family holding my hand as I journey on and find my new way. I have a soul that is clearing out the tarnish and reconnecting with my truth.
And so to close this chapter, I send love & light to my former employer. I send out to the Universe an open heart for what is yet to come. I send the most sincere and humble thank you to my friends and family.
It is time for the bear to hibernate now and transcend the bullshit. It is time for this girl to be free.