For the Love of Zero!
Going back to Mayo Clinic today came with a crazy set of nerves. The entire week leading up to today was filled with anxiety, tension and fear. From the first blood draw in March, we’ve received “bad news” every time. So of course our natural expectation for today was, well, bad news.
Today they drew blood to check if the cancer is spreading. When we were delivered the news, we just sat there – emotionless. It kind of shocked me, I figured we would either cry with sadness or jump for joy with happiness, but neither happened.
As I drove home, the tears started rolling. I still couldn’t quite articulate what I was feeling. That’s the strange thing about dealing with cancer…because it’s so unpredictable by nature, it produces the same unpredictability in emotions as well.
After about 30 minutes, I got a silly text from Brien. We started bantering back and forth, lightheartedly and free. My final text to him before writing this was….”It feels good to laugh.” His response, “Yes, it does.”
So here is what the doctor told us. Brien’s PSA level is 0. That means that as of today, he is cancer free.
Although we will continue to monitor every 3 months for the next couple of years, for today we got what we’ve been waiting and praying for…..a dose of good news.
I have a mad love for the number zero right now.
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